Friday, January 05, 2007

Minnesota winter

Well it's taken me a while to figure out, but I'm finally on to the ruse. Minnesota winters are a myth. Ice palaces, 20 below temps, cross country skiing in the Twin Cities - all a farce. Last year, while visiting during the Winter Carnival, everyone said the warm weather was an exception as the sculptures melted even as they were being created. I believed them. This year, while racing over Thanksgiving in 60 degree temperatures, I was assured the weather was very unusual. There's always snow on the ground by Christmas, they said. Well the new year has come, and it's still in the 40s. Ice skating and ice houses on the chain of lakes? Nada. Well the gig's up folks! It's all a myth to sell winter gear and tourism. I'm not buying it.
__Sure it used to get cold and snowy here. I remember making two room snow forts with hallways in the winter. Cross country skiing. Snow so deep you couldn't open the front door. Bunny slopes in the front yard. But that's long since passed, and every since Minnesotans have conspired to preserve their winter wonderland image, to keep the myth alive. I have to say they've done a great job. Doctored photos of Winter Carnivals passed, airbrushed snow in travel brochures. Good work! But everyone can relax now, the game's over, no need to keep up appearances. Really. You can put away the parkas, the snow tires, etc.
__But keep the earmuffs and mittens; they're really cute.