What REALLY happens in a bike race crash

Like a cat, I figure I have finally used up my nine lives. In fact, if I start counting, I've used up a whole lot more than that in near-misses and blind luck, plus a dollop of hard-earned experience to see me through a few. So, in my very few years of bike racing, I've figured out how bike crashes really work, as have the majority of my readers I suspect. For those of you who don't bump elbows out there on a regular basis, here's what REALLY goes down (pun intended):

* Rider near the front (A) scratches his ass.
* Next rider (B) stops pedaling for a second to avoid overlapping wheels
* Rider beside him (C) and half a wheel back touches his brakes lightly to avoid hooking handlebars
* Rider moving up on the inside (D) has to brake harder because he's been accellerating
* Rider behind him (E) has to swerve
* Rider behind him (F) was overlapping wheels in the crosswind and goes down

So, who's "fault" was it? (F) himself for overlapping wheels? No, he's going to yell at (E) for swerving. (E) is going to yell at (D) for trying to move up in a curve. (D) is going to blame (C) for braking. (C) is going to yell at (B) for sitting up. (B) is going to yell at (A) for riding "sketchy." The lesson here?

DON'T SCRATCH YOUR ASS IN A BIKE RACE!